Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Where Anger Begins

Where does Anger begin?

Anger has its roots in fear.  As humans we are innately afraid of what we cannot CONTROL or do not UNDERSTAND.  This type of anger is the source of Wars, it accounts for most passion-based murders, and even can be traced back to many social and civic issues like slavery, apartheid, alcohol & drug abuse, modern day bullying and domestic violence. 

A lie has infiltrated our culture which tells us that it is UN-Healthy not to express our anger, as if it is our "RIGHT" to lash out in anger.  Taking the boundaries off our anger is not only damaging to those around us, but also causes ourselves much heart-aches.  Notice what the Bible says, Proverbs 29:11, "Fools give full vent to their rage, but the wise bring calm in the end."

Why is giving "full-vent" to one's anger foolish?... because it gives FEAR the POWER in your life. Now understand, I'm not suggesting the absence of conflict, or a denying of our emotions.  However, the unleashed anger of men and women yields destruction.

So, next time you sense Anger rising inside, ask yourself the question:  What is frustrating me that I CAN'T CONTROL, or What is frustrating me that I CAN'T UNDERSTAND?

The truth: control is a facade, and understanding often only occurs in hinds sight.  Therefore, anger rarely satisfied, and never resolves. The answer lies elsewhere.

Next Blog: "What is the Remedy to Anger?"

Anger in the Home & the Colorado Fires

Perhaps you have seen the devastation that is taking place in beautiful Colorado, and the surrounding areas.  The forest fires have aggressively moved across the plains and mountains alike, as if they are on a mission of destruction.  This past weekend the fire rages out of control engulfing 3 square miles, making it impossible for fire fighters to control the direction or power of such fierce devastation, causing them to evacuate over 11,000 residents. 

Each year my boys and I go on a camping trip.  It has been a tradition for us as a male bonding time.  Our time is spent putting up tents, hikes through trails, canoeing in ponds and rivers, and of course, building a Camp Fire!  No trip is complete without some over-done hotdogs, and flaming marshmallows.  This fire that is contained is useful for warming us at night, and cooking our food.  There is just something therapeutic about sitting around a camp fire late at night!

However, my boys always get the safety speech from dad, because a fire that us UN-contained (out-side its boundaries) is no longer useful, but is dangerous!  While in its beginning stages, a small forest fire can be extinguished using water, once out of control, there are limits to what can be done. 

The Bible often describes ANGER in terms of a fire (i.e., Numbers 11:1, Proverbs 26:21, James 1:20).  Often times God's anger does burn as fire, but we consider this a "cleansing fire."  Rarely is man's raging anger productive or beneficial.  Our anger often quickly spreads out-side its boundaries as well, causing pain and destruction to us and others in our lives.  

Perhaps you are experiencing Anger in your home and are wondering what to do about it, how to handle your anger, or to control the anger of another in your home.  Beware, this fire can certainly be very destructive, but it can also be beneficial and life-giving to your relationships when under control. 

Over the next number posts, we will consider in depth the issue of Anger in our Home Relationships.  There is HOPE for those who currently dealing with anger in the home, and HEALING for those who have experienced the effects of anger.   

Don't Give Up & Don't Give In! 

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Be a Winner, Not a Whiner

This is a great time of the year.  NBA Playoffs are ramped up, and I'm loving it.  The intensity level is higher than it has been for years.  You have Multi-Million Dollar $uper$tar$ competing in a childhood game that still captures my imagination.

These grown men know the game of basketball better than anyone on the face of the earth, and have dedicated their entire life to the sport.  At the center of the wins and losses are the heart of the team, THEIR COACH.  The challenge for these leaders is not to teach their team members how to shoot or dribble, but he does his best to direct the energy and attitude of the team.

Why... because at this level of competition, games are won and lost not soley on the skills of a team, but in their ATTITUDE OF THEIR MINDS.  He wants their thinking to be sharp, aggressive, and positive.   Each coach wants his team to dictate the tempo, pace and mood of the game.  Most time-outs have the coach talking about emotions, not the details.

In essence, the coach is telling his players to Be a Winner, Not a Whiner.  What's the difference?  Below is a quick comparison between the 2 different attitudes that determine who wins a game or the series.  The same is applied to our lives.  Consider your life as you read through the list:

      1. Whiners Drain Energy... Winners give ENERGY
      2. Whiners Complain about People... Winners LOVE People
      3. Whiners use Obstacle as Excuses... Winners see Obstacles as Opportunities
      4. Whiners look to Criticize... Winners look to Serve
      5. Whiners Talk about Others... Winners Lift-up Others
      6. Whiners Discourage... Winners Encourage