Relationships are like our Eating Habits. We all know what's good for us, but very few do it. It is not a secret that fresh vegetables, fish, whole grains, water, and fruits are all good for us. However, we settle for the Big Mac, soda, chocolate chip cookies and corn chips.
The same can be said for our relationships. Most know that love, patience, caring confrontation, humility, and gentleness would benefit our relationships. Yet all too often we settle for impatience, harsh words, sarcasm, selfishness, and anger.
Why is it we sabotage our most important relations (as well as our health)? Permit me to suggest just one reason:
FEAR: Fear can be a very motivating factor in our decisions. We may be afraid that someone will take advantage of us, if we don't respond in an aggressive, dominant manner. Fear that our spouse won't meet our needs. Fear abandonment, hurt, vulnerability, discomfort, etc...
Whenever we are in a situation that causes us to fear. Consider what happened when Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis 3:8-10:
“Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the LORD God
as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they
hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden. 9But the
LORD God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’
10 He answered, ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid
because I was naked; so I hid.’”
Bottom line, Fear cause us to Hide & Hiding is the opposite of Connection.
So, next time you experience negative emotions rising in a relationships, don't hide and sabotage your chances for connection. Do what's healthy for you and the relationship. You'll be one step closer to the connections you long for.