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Wednesday, December 10, 2014

5 Ways You are Unknowingly Destroying your Husband and Killing your Marriage

Found this article recently and was impressed by the perspective and content of what it had to offer.  It is from the site FamilyShare, which has a lot of helpful articles and resources. Check them out!

When I got married, I was amazed at the instant, overwhelming sense of responsibility I felt to love and care for my husband. Suddenly, a huge part of someone else's well-being and happiness was largely affected by my choices and actions.

Women, we need to be careful about how we are caring for our husbands and marriages. Don't let the small stuff ruin the things that will bring you the greatest happiness in life.

Here are just a few ways you might be unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage (as a caveat, please understand that although this article is directed toward women, it applies to men as well):

1. Living outside of what you can afford
A wise old woman from my church congregation once advised: "The best thing you can do as a wife is to live within your husband's means."

Wives, show sincere appreciation and respect to your husband by carefully following a budget and making the most of what you have. Be wise about your finances.Constantly complaining about not having enough to fulfill your lavish desires or racking up astronomical amounts of debt on your credit card is a poor way of saying "thank you" to a faithful spouse who works hard every day to provide for the family.

Yes, you may not have enough to buy that Kate Spade bag you've had your eyes on for months, but your husband will love and appreciate the fact that you honor him and are grateful for what he provides.

2. Constant negativity
You hate your hair, the messes around the house, the neighbor across the street, your dumb co-worker, the old dishwasher, and everything in between. As soon as your husband walks through the door, you launch into action and dump every negative and angry thought that's crossed your mind throughout the day.

Can you imagine having to carry that burden? Negativity is draining. Men like to fix things, and constantly being hounded with complaints makes it difficult for him to help solve your pains. If there is one thing I've learned from marriage is that a good man wants you to be happy, and if he can't help you do that, it makes him unhappy. It's okay to have a bad day once in a while, that's totally understandable, but don't make it a way of life.

3. Putting everything else first
When your children, mom, best friends, talents, or career in front of your husband, you send a clear message to him that he is unimportant. Imagine having that message sent to you every day for many years. What would that do to your self esteem?

Put your husband first.

Although it sometimes seems counter-intuitive and counterproductive, I think you'd be amazed to find that it's often the key to the greatest happiness in marriage. So many couples get divorced these days, because they neglect to care and love one another and put each other first.

If you choose to put each other first, you will find a lot of joy.

4. Withholding physical affection
Men crave and need physical affection with their wives. When you constantly decline intimacy, it wears on them.

Sex should not be used as a tool to control your spouse; it should be viewed as a sacred tool to draw you closer to one another and to God.It is a great blessing to be wanted and needed by a loving, romantic husband who wants to share something so beautiful and important with you -- and you only. 

Even though you might not always be in the mood, it's worth it to give in (when you can) and spend that time bonding.

5. Not speaking his language
Women love to drop hints. (I think it's part of our DNA.) But men just don't get them. (I think that is a part of their DNA.)

Don't waste your time giving subtle hints that he won't understand: Speak plainly to him. Be honest about your feelings, and don't bottle things up until you burst. If he asks you what's wrong, don't respond with "nothing" and then expect him to read your mind and emotions. Be open about how you really feel.

Katelyn Carmen
Katelyn Carmen is the International Content Manager for the FamilyShare Network. She completed her MBA at Utah State University. She is a firm advocate for faith and family.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Neat Christmas tricks for the crafty and thrifty

For those of you love to find new ways to solve old problems, this video will provide some fresh ways to conquer Christmas related problems.  Enjoy :)

Monday, December 8, 2014

Being Transformed

There are certain times every year we take our lives and their direction into consideration.  We evaluate the results of our lives, our decisions, habits and our potential/future.  2-Times we conduct these personal reviews often at our birthdays and at the New Year.

I've developed a tool that may help you purposefully and beneficially take condition of your life in the 4 key area:  Spiritual, Relationally, Mentally, & Physically.  Life Changing Resolutions is only $.99 and can be purchased below.  Enjoy!!!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

The Gift of Hope

Hope has been described as the #1 Indispensable Commodity of Humanity.  Without Hope, life withers into senseless activity and meaningless chatter.

What if you could give the Gift of Hope this Christmas season.  What if you could put a smile on an orphans face and provide some much needed hope.

Well this year you can...

In partnership with Rancho de sus Ninos in Tijuana Mexico, we are giving the gift of hope this year by providing 55 of their orphans with New Sneakers & a Light-weight Jacket/Sweatshirt.

This season, let's put our FAITH-2-ACTION!  Let's bless because we are blessed!

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Slippery Slope and the Spirit of Darkness

As we approach this Halloween season I wanted to address a trend I have noticed in much of the Christian circles.  As many will celebrate with Trick-or-Treating and other parties, be sure you are leading your children and yourself in God-honoring way.  My hope is to lead us toward a Bible approach to what commonly referred to as "being IN the world, but now OF the world."  By the way, this phrase is not in Scripture, but I believe the principle is.  I'll explain below.

Through the years much of Christianity has attempted to move away from a Legalistic form of Faith, and have attempted to reject a Judgmental posture. In many regards this has been a healthy and necessary development in order to engage our world with the love and Good New of Jesus.   My concern is that many have stopped following Jesus, His Word, and the leading of His Spirit, and have rather embrace the American doctrine of Tolerance & Acceptance.  

The result is there is little difference between children of the light and the children of darkness.  Other than our attendance on Sunday mornings (even that is no longer a given), there is no difference in conviction, lifestyle, or spiritual discernment.  

I'm not talking about casting any stones at anyone else, but I am calling Christ Followers to examine their life.  It grieves me to hear many believers and their families involved in ungodly media that has no place in or around a believers life.  For example, the new movie "Ouija" hit the top spot in theaters this past weekend.  This is not a uncommon occurrence either.  There has been an unhealthy obsession with the spiritual underworld through demons, vampires, werewolf's, and the like.  
Ouija (2014) Poster Grace, Movie on DVD, Horror Movies, new movies, new movies on DVD Dracula Untold (2014) Poster
The Spirit of Darkness has entered into main-stream media.  When I see the highlights of Katy Perry's Dark Horse on the Grammy's stage, I am taken back by the demonic overtones integrated into the performance.  Mix this with the intrigue of books (now turning movie) like "50 Shade of Grey", and movies in the genre of "Sex Tape", there has been a slippery slope that tolerance and acceptance has moved us toward involvement.  

For this reason the Apostle Paul warned the 1st Century believers who lived in a culture not much unlike our own when it came to morality, "19 The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." (Galatians 5:19-21)

By saying, "we are IN the world, but not OF the world," we are saying we are living according to another standard and live for a kingdom not of this world.  John 15:19, "If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world..."  

Let us take careful inventory of that which fills our minds, enters our home, and captures our souls. There is no such things as innocent entertainment, when it is in firm contrast to the Kingdom of God. 

He who has ears to hear, let him hear!