This is a topic I hear very little about these days. Sexual Sin has become a right of passage, and generally accepted in much of Christian Culture. From the affairs of super-star preachers, to the private struggles of a young man or woman coming into their own; there seems to be an indifference (at best) or a general acceptance that to be human is to give way to sexual sin. “After-all, we are just human.”
Some of the heroes of our culture who have been exalted to “god-like” status. We have hailed the like of Hugh Hefner, and called him a liberator. Our sports heroes literally have intimate relations with 100’s-1000’s of women, and we follow them closer than we study the life of the Apostle Paul. Then we have the grotesque activity of Harvey Weinstein which needs little more commentary after the coverage he has received.
However, pointing the finger at well-known names is not helpful. We allow pornography into our homes through shows like “Game of Thrones” and think nothing of it. I can’t begin to tell you how many self-proclaimed Christian who enjoyed the entertainment of “Fifty Shade of Grey” and can’t understand why anyone would disapprove of a harmless novel. Where has the sense of decency and holiness gone from the CHURCH!?! Yes the Church!
Why has the Allure of Sexual Sin, dragged us into its clutches like a Star Trek tractor-beam. It has locked onto us! There are 2-words that described its grip on our souls:
- POWER: When I use the word power, I do not necessarily suggest the concept of dominance. However, a good synonym would be “control.” To quote Larry Crabb in his life changing book, Connecting, he wrote of the idolatry that fills our hearts as the “passionate pursuit of predictable pleasure.” The allure to have our sexual desires/passions met when we desire, and not have to have those legitimate desires met in the confines of a committed relationship means we strive for the power to control our life. Often times if we cannot satisfy our passions in a committed relationship, we move to a uncommitted relationship, and if not there, then to a relationship based on fantasy (primarily online). We want to have power over our lives, and not relinquish control. Both are a facade!
- ESCAPE: In some regards, “power” goes hand in hand with our desire to escape. Sexual expression in its variety of forms (Biblical and sinful), provides a feeling of escape and relief from the stresses of life. The endorphin released during sexual activity, oxytocin (the love-hormone) engages the pleasure portion of the brain causing a euphoric (intensely happy or confident) feeling. Therefore, during times of stress, conflict, hurt, loneliness, anxiety, and in general emotional pain, there can be a desire to “escape” these feelings and cover them with a manufactured “euphoric” state of feeling. To state it simply, we escape the painful reality, for a more pleasant/pleasurable fantasy.
The problem with using sexuality as a strategy for power/control and/or escape, is that neither are based in reality. Both are a pseudo-fix, for a legitimate need. Our needs of safety, security, peace, provision, connectedness, and even pleasure are legitimate, God-given needs. These needs all provide an opportunity to find their fulfillment in both a relationship with our Creator, and through our relationships with one-another.
A Christ-centered, committed relationship is God’s answer for your needs. Any other other attempt is temporal and short-lasting leaving us frustrated and searching for more. While the allure may be strong at times, remember: Sin always over-promises, and it always under-delivers. You deserve better, reach for the real-thing!